The Tendency to Show Off: A Reflection on Human Nature
True greatness needs no validation. Let your achievements shine on their own—those who matter will notice, without you having to show off.
A few days ago, I visited an old friend of mine. We’ve known each other for years, and this visit was special because it was the first time I brought my wife along. We have just gotten married last month, and as is customary, this was a chance for her to meet some of the closest people in my life.
My friend lives in a posh neighborhood in Mumbai. His house, while not much bigger than mine, is situated in an area where property prices are at least four times higher. The locality is undoubtedly a status symbol, and the moment we stepped into his home, I could sense a certain excitement in him.
He showed us every corner of his house—from the living room to the bedroom, right down to the balcony. It’s normal to give a house tour when someone visits for the first time, but this time, his enthusiasm felt different. There was a certain undertone of pride—almost as if he wanted to highlight every detail he had worked hard to put together.
Later, as we headed out for dinner, the showing off continued. He had recently bought a new SUV, and as soon as we got in, he started rattling off its features. He compared it to his old car, a top-model Tata Nexon, emphasizing that his current SUV was also the highest-end luxury model. The sunroof was “very big,” the speakers were “state-of-the-art,” and the autopilot feature was something he couldn’t wait to demonstrate. This is similar to how people might show off their latest gadgets, like the newest iPhone model or a high-end smartwatch, detailing every spec and feature.
He turned up the music so loud that his son in the backseat had to turn it down. On the highway, he pushed the car past the speed limit to show off its power and pickup, risking a hefty fine in the process. By the time we returned, I was mentally cringing at the entire spectacle.
On the way home, I refrained from mentioning anything to my wife. I didn’t want her to think I was insecure or judgmental. But to my surprise, she brought it up herself, saying—politely but clearly—that my friend seemed like a bit of a show-off.
Learning from Others’ Mistakes
Now, let me be clear: my friend is a good man. We’ve been close for years, and our friendship has never been transactional. He’s genuinely happy for my success, and the feeling is mutual. This post isn’t about mocking him—it’s about learning.
His behavior made me reflect deeply on the human tendency to show off. Watching him gave me a front-row seat to how cringeworthy it can be, and it served as a reminder to be mindful of my own actions.
The truth is, we’ve all been there. At some point, we’ve all felt the urge to highlight our achievements, our possessions, or the milestones of those close to us. And while it’s natural to seek validation, there’s a fine line between sharing and showing off.
Here’s something I’ve come to understand and wrote about in this post:
When someone feels the need to show off, they’re wearing the mask of success without having the deep, unshakable sense of being worthy of that success.
I’ve been working on this within myself for a while now, but I’m far from perfect. There are still moments when I mention things I own or achievements I’ve made when it would have been better to stay silent. It’s a tricky part of human nature—the urge to fake it till we make it.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with “faking it till you make it,” but it’s crucial to do so without coming across as insecure or desperate for approval. True greatness, I believe, comes when you no longer feel the need to broadcast your accomplishments—they simply speak for themselves.
A Mental Note
After that visit, I made a mental note: whenever I feel the urge to mention something I own, have achieved, or know about, I’ll pause and ask myself a simple question:
If someone else mentioned something similar to me, would I find it impressive? Or would I think they were showing off—or worse, feel completely indifferent to the information?
Often, we share details for the sake of validation, but those details rarely have the impact we imagine. Most people are indifferent to what we think will impress them. Worse, such behavior can harm our reputation, making us seem insecure or boastful.
The Essence of Accomplishment
A truly accomplished person doesn’t need others to validate their success. They don’t crave the “Wow, that’s amazing!” comments from the world. Their achievements shine on their own, visible to those who genuinely need to notice.
So, here’s the takeaway: resist the urge to seek validation through showing off. Let your work, your values, and your quiet confidence do the talking. Those who matter will notice, and those who don’t will never need to.